Friday, July 18, 2014

Change Change Change

I had my medication appointment this week. It went OK. I was hoping for more a change like changing my two medications but she just added 10 milligrams on to my Prozac prescription. We shall see how it works. 
I see her in a month regardless to see how things are going since the change and I am keeping my fingers crossed.

I have been all over the board these last few days emotions-wise. The other night I was crying and honestly, I did not know why. 

The medication doctor had told me that my life has totally changed and maybe that change is starting to catch up to me. In the last year:

  • I got laid off after being at a company for 10 years, out of the blue.
  • After posting a whole post about how I was meant to be alone, I met the guy and we have been together for a year and living together for 10 months. He has not killed me yet.
  • Guy's teenage son comes about every other weekend.
  • We got a dog.

  • I got a new job at a company with a very different dynamic.
  • Guy's teenage son is going to be moving in with us next month. My apartment is going to rearranged
  • Blogher is next week and well, that brings my anxiety and not good enough thoughts to my head.   

It has just been a whirlwind year. I can see where she has a point. What is next?        

Thursday, July 10, 2014

How to Deal With Depression and Anxiety During Blogher 2014

I am going to my 4th Blogger in two weeks. Even after 4 years, it is overwhelming. In situations where I know no one, I tend to revert to my introverted side and being around hundreds of women and some men that I have never met or read is wicked scary to me. 

I try to be "up" in new situations but being "up" is physically and mentally exhausting.  It takes a lot of internal guts for me to go up to someone that I do not know and say "Hello". All of the "Will they like me?" or "What if they hate my blog?" or "How the hell am I going to describe my blog" gets shoved down and the welcoming smiling friendly gregarious (I was called that recently) comes out.

Here is how I deal with it.

1. Coping mechanisms will be kept handy. I will have a book (maybe two or three) with me. If it gets to be too much, I will find a quiet corner and read for a bit. I used to retreat to the Serenity Suite but that is not an option.

2. Recite the mantra in my head.  "I am good enough" over and over until I start to believe it.

3.Don't be afraid to show your true feelings. I lost my phone at the San Diego Blogher. I was dealing with family issues and I totally broke down. I was crying. People stopped to help me. They even got AT&T to donate a phone until I could replace mine. They were awesome and they helped me. I eventually found my phone through Twitter. People will be there for you. 

As someone who has been really struggling lately. I am totally looking forward to the medication appointment I have next week. I am going to be true to myself. I am not perfect and I know I can handle it if I get anxious and depressed. 

I will be around just look for the tall freckled red head with a bit of a Boston accent.