Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Just Not Good Enough

Today is one of those days. 

I got a nice "you do not fit in" letter from my blog and rejection from other sources in my life. That "good enough" line was crossed. I always teeter on the high and low self esteem line but lately, I spend more time on the low end of the spectrum. Honestly, I would hide in my corner and cry but that is not productive at all. 

I am 40, single, never married, no kids and don't own a house. Sometimes in the blogging world, I just feel like one of those freaks that does not fit in. I am not a Mom. I write about deep down stuff. Stuff that would stay in my mind and in therapy sessions, if I did not write about it. I am afraid I make people sad when they read my blog and that will never really grow my blog. 

I have been blogging a while and I am not sure where to go with this blog. I am honest, perhaps too honest. I thought if I wrote about my battle with depression and anxiety, I would actually help people but it is big wide world but sometimes I just feel like I am floundering out there with no real purpose. 

I am not stopping my blog but at a crossroads. I signed up to go to Blogher this year hoping it might help. I am not sure where I should go at this fork in the road.






8 comments:

  1. Like you, I posted about psychological issues and things which are not popular to discuss. I had even fewer readers than you do. It didn't matter because I wrote my blog for me, not for others. If others found something in it, then that was great, but, ultimately, you have to do this for yourself - so that you can look back on who you were and where you are now and understand yourself. It's about process, not outcome.

    I don't know what was said to you about not fitting it, but it says more about the person who sent you the message than about you. That person has a need to marginalize, ostracize, or belittle someone else in order to elevate his or her sense of self. That is a sad person who is weak and can't pull himself or herself up on his or her own - if a person can only feel higher self-esteem by dragging others down, then that person who is "just not good enough."

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  2. You should always write about what is your TRUTH. Authenticity is huge in blogging, no matter what your niche is.

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  3. Keep going. If it helps you, keep going. Stats are all well and good, but think back to why you started this, and go from there. On the other hand, if you aren't getting anything from writing any more, then maybe take a break and see how that feels. Ok you don't fit into a cultural stereotype of success, but that's all it is, a stereotype. Do what feels right for you. Best of luck whatever you decide

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  4. I think you should continue. I am 43, single, never married, no kids and while I don't suffer from depression I can relate to you life in a lot of ways. Hang in there and know there are people like you in this world!

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  5. Jen, although we had a falling out I still follow your blog. From one blogger to another, always write what YOU want to write about and don't worry about what others think. I lose followers on my blog's Facebook page from time to time and I let it go and don't give them a second thought. Also the blogging world is waaaay more diverse than moms writing changing their kids' diapers; they just seem to get more of the attention.

    I wish you well and keep up the good work.

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  6. Write your blog for you! You may never know who your words have touched. I have found lots of people that read my posts but never comment. I wrote for ME. Some posts are depressing, some are hystarically funny (to me at least)...that's my life and I wrote my life! Would I like a large readership? Of Course? But more importantly I want to be true to myself!!!! So wrote and write from your heart! I'll be reading!!!! :-)

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  7. I'm 46, never married, no children, unemployed, no close family or relatives, huge debts. It is my life, and that's what I blog about - no excuses needed ! And even though I recently decided to finish my current blog, I know I'll start a new one soon because it truly helps to clear my head and dump my feelings out in the open, even if it is just for myself.

    You know...there are hundreds upon hundreds of blogs out there that are just clones of one another -- I'd never judge on anyone's theme or purpose for their blog....but to find an honest, no sugar goating, straight from the heart -blog like yours = I'd much rather read about real people's real struggles and joys than about interior design or latest fashion or whatnot. Never ever let some petty, bitter person tell you how and what you should in write YOUR BLOG.

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  8. It's good to share your struggles. It does help people, even if they aren't able to open up and let you know that.

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I love your comments!