Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Set Adrift

I am on a raft floating out in the ocean without a destination. Seriously.

I spend my day looking for a job but I really need to find myself.

I feel lost without a job, a purpose, anything….

I do not have insurance currently so I have not been to therapy in a while. That is not good. My mood is mostly stable but there are afternoons like these that I just feel adrift.

I have had two phone interviews this week. I get really nervous around phone interviews. I am just not a phone talker. I have never been. So talking to these companies about how I am an awesome commercial lease administrator. I know the job and I know it well. Then they ask me about salary and I am like, I want this range and then they get all silent. That does not bode well.

I hate telephone interviews. I am a face to face kind of gal. Most of my friends can attest.

Monday, August 19, 2013

What I Need

Still no job but that is ok.

I have been feeling all sorts of messed up. Between my hating myself and just feeling blah and now my stomach is a mess, which is probably connected.

I need to make a therapy appointment stat. I need to get moving and out of the house. I need not to think so much.

What do you need to do?

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Overwhelming

Unemployment is not agreeing with me. Today was my first day of actively looking for a job and it was totally overwhelming.

I have been home alone a lot. Too much. Today, the isolating fear of mine started to take over. Secret Sister came over and I didn’t even want her to visit. She handed me what she wanted to give me and walked away. I felt horrible. I did not go to Zumba tonight because I feeling down. I am just overwhelmed.

Thankfully, I am not alone all the time. Tomorrow, I am taking my computer and leaving to search. Sitting at home does me nothing good but let my mind wander into lands it should no.
Tomorrow will be a better day.