Sunday, April 28, 2013

Escape To Palm Springs Part 1

I don’t want my vacation to be over but it is. I am back from Palm Springs. Fortunately, the light at the end of my travel tunnel is still shining brightly. It was a journey to actually get to Palm Springs since I left the Friday that the city was shut down.

My phone is dead so I am only sharing a few of my photos now, with more to come.

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I was looking at photos of me during my trip and this is bar far my favorite. I am not going to say anything bad about myself but ugh….. I was at Indian Canyons, which was beautiful!

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A palm oasis in Indian Canyons. So pretty.  What I liked it was so different from Boston. The desert is just a place of its own.

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I loved these teddy bear cactuses or cholla. They are big and fuzzy like a teddy bear but they hurt you unlike a teddy bear

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I even went to jail at Pioneertown.

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More detail tomorrow.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

California Here I Come

I am off to Palm Springs in the morning. I am so looking forward to it.

I have a little cold and with the events of this week, I need a nice sunny vacation. I will not be blogging while I am away so I will see you when I get home.

I promise lots and lots and lots of pictures.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Hello from Boston

As many of you know, I live in the Boston area and work downtown.

It was a state holiday here but because I work for a national company, they do not honor that holiday at work.

I was working and no where near the marathon. I work on the other side of downtown Boston.

The whole thing was just senseless and I don’t understand how someone can do that.

I just don’t understand.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

New Goals

I have  about 5 and a half months until I turn 40. The thought sort of gets me down but in an effort to be somewhat positive, I am going to set some sort of goals for those 5 and a half months.

1. Visit Boston Light – It totally is a 3 hour tour! I have been wanting to do this for a long time. It is a historic lighthouse and I am such a history nerd.

2. Finally, visit the Adams family.  This has been on my list before and well, I live right around the corner. No excuses!

3. Purge – big time. I am not a hoarder but just living I have acquired way too much stuff (this does not include books, FYI) and I need to get rid of stuff.

4. Enjoy the outdoors. Whether that is walking in the plethora of parks in the Boston area or my neighborhood or reading outside, I need to get out more. After this winter, I am feeling cooped up.

5. Write three positive things a day. Whether about myself or anything, just three positive things. It can’t be that hard, can it?

6. I live in a city with a large Asian population. I want to go to one of the restaurants here that the writing is mainly is in Chinese.  Totally stepping out of my comfort zone.

What are your spring/summer goals?

 

My positive things:

1. My cats make me smile.

2. I love my freckles. Every one of them.

3. I am really really looking forward to Palm Springs next week.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Time

Another weekend gone.

Where does time go?

And why do I feel I have accomplished nothing with the time I have had?

This week is quieter and I am looking forward to it. I am joining Weight Watchers with a friend tomorrow.

I am looking forward to the quiet week.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Honesty During Therapy

I suppose this could be said about most of my medical appointments. 

I do not tell the whole truth during them. I skirt around the issues maybe because I am embarrassed.

I don't lie and I know the only one I am hurting is myself.  Whether it be the strength of my migraines or the depth of my depression and hopelessness. 

Today I was honest about how hopeless, run down and just plain emotionally tired I have been feeling. I told my therapist that those videos that tell you life gets better than when you are a teen are lying. It does not get better :(

She asked if I was feeling suicidal and I said not really but sometimes I think, "Maybe if a bus hit me..." 

I said I have been on a down swing of the roller coaster lately. Maybe it is what is going with Dad and the endless winter and the negative thoughts about myself. A friend told me to name 3 positive things about myself and I had a very hard time. I could spout three negative things in 10 seconds flat.

I am feeling the pull of locking myself in my apartment, sleeping all day and never getting out of my pajamas. Losing interest in things you love is a sign of depression. I feel it.

I haven't wanted to write about where I am mentally. I have just wanted to come home, read and sleep. I have wanted to withdraw into a book (That would totally be my superpower to go into books and come out of books with stuff.) and sleep.

 I know that since I also gave platelets lately that I am seriously borderline anemic and that is a contributor to why I want to sleep forever.

I see my therapist next week as well.

The light at the end of the tunnel is Palm Springs in 2 weeks. I CAN NOT WAIT. 




Monday, April 1, 2013

Migraine Blues

I have been plagued by migraines lately. They are getting very bad. My ears begin to hurt and ring, the pain around my eye is massive, my jaw hurts and I just want to curl up in a ball, cry and/or sleep. None of the medicine I take really works. Topamax sort of reduces the amount of migraines I get but the intensity is way up.

I really effects my mood. Pain is a huge depression trigger. When I do my feel physically good, I do not feel mentally good.

I often wonder if the two are wound together and can’t survive without the other. Just a simple Google search of migraines and depression bring up lots of results that say yes, they are related.

To another another thing to the mix, my rosacea is getting worse.  I have heard of the connection of migraines and rosacea. The red bumps on my face seem to be spreading.

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I do not want to go on antibiotics but that is the only things the really seems to help.

I am just tired and hurting. I want to cry uncle with my migraines.