Friday, April 5, 2013

Honesty During Therapy

I suppose this could be said about most of my medical appointments. 

I do not tell the whole truth during them. I skirt around the issues maybe because I am embarrassed.

I don't lie and I know the only one I am hurting is myself.  Whether it be the strength of my migraines or the depth of my depression and hopelessness. 

Today I was honest about how hopeless, run down and just plain emotionally tired I have been feeling. I told my therapist that those videos that tell you life gets better than when you are a teen are lying. It does not get better :(

She asked if I was feeling suicidal and I said not really but sometimes I think, "Maybe if a bus hit me..." 

I said I have been on a down swing of the roller coaster lately. Maybe it is what is going with Dad and the endless winter and the negative thoughts about myself. A friend told me to name 3 positive things about myself and I had a very hard time. I could spout three negative things in 10 seconds flat.

I am feeling the pull of locking myself in my apartment, sleeping all day and never getting out of my pajamas. Losing interest in things you love is a sign of depression. I feel it.

I haven't wanted to write about where I am mentally. I have just wanted to come home, read and sleep. I have wanted to withdraw into a book (That would totally be my superpower to go into books and come out of books with stuff.) and sleep.

 I know that since I also gave platelets lately that I am seriously borderline anemic and that is a contributor to why I want to sleep forever.

I see my therapist next week as well.

The light at the end of the tunnel is Palm Springs in 2 weeks. I CAN NOT WAIT. 


  1. I have found that doctors and therapists are some of the few people that we can be 100% honest with without judegement.

  2. I agree with Keith. And it's so important to be 100% honest with them. I'm glad you told your therapist how bad it has been.

  3. Yes, I too am glad you were able to talk to your therapist. I think there were many times that I held in my true feelings so I totally get it, but they can't really help if they don't know the whole picture and I guess I finally got so depressed I didn't care anymore so I just spit it out.

  4. Glad you were honest with your therapist this time around. Thinking of you!

  5. So glad you were honest with your therapist! It's so very important to be honest to find the help you need. Hang in there. I know it's hard. I'm glad you are going to Palm Springs in a few weeks. I hope you have a wonderful time and that it helps to put a spring back in your step. Hugs.

  6. It's good to be honest. I am not always as forthcoming with my therapist as I need to be and I end up kicking myself afterward.


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