The last time I posted a Support Wednesday post was on October 26, 2011. I am happy to have resurrected it.
Tonight I went back to the eating disorders support group. While I may not have gone back to most of my bad behaviors but the feelings were there. The worthlessness and the unlovable thoughts were totally present. My therapist suggested I go back to the meetings and they were probably the most helpful of any therapy that I have been to in all my years of therapy.
Tonight, the group touched upon relationships with partners or friends and how you broach the subject of the disorder, the depression, the self-hatred, all of it.
Most of the time, it is my little dark secret. I pour my heart out on this blog but yet in a dating relationship and some friendships, I am afraid to lose someone if I talk about it. I may casually mention that I may or may not see a therapist but all those other little issues, well, they are casually ignored. If I do say something, will I be rejected? Will they not like me anymore?
I know that my self esteem issues keep me from getting in a relationship. I don’t really feel like I deserve it. I must have some sort of f----d up aura that keeps people away.
How do you deal with your issues in your relationships whether it be a love interest or a friend?