I have a confession to make.
For the first time in a long time, I had thoughts that if the next 40 years of my life are like the first 40, I don’t want to live through them.
I have not thought like that in a long time and it is a bad sign.
Since Boots died, I have been really struggling. I feel horrible about myself and it is just sliding down hill from there. My therapist appointment is Friday and I can’t wait.
I got my hair cut shorter this weekend and I took a picture of it.
I look at this picture and outside of my eyes, I see nothing good. Nothing good at all. I just see someone unlovable. Today I heard, “Jen if only you weren’t so like you are, your personality is great.” Blah.
I just wanted to admit the above and get it out. I am hoping seeing it in writing will help.