Monday, August 13, 2012

Six Months

I just realized that it has been over six months since my mother died. Six months!  Where does the time go? I still find it hard to believe that I have no more nursing home visits for a long time, I hope and I don’t have to go to hospice meetings about Mom’s care. I feel like outside of traveling, I have done nothing in the past six months.

That may explain why I did nothing but feel depressed and read all week. I did take a couple of walks but that is it. I am lucky I got in the shower. I suppose I needed a quiet weekend after the madness of Blogher last weekend and my busy weekend next weekend.

It didn’t dawn on me until this morning that Mom died March 2. It just seems that time flies and I have nothing to show for it. I am still single, still working a blah job, still here……

The plus side is that I had a box of CheezIts. I love CheezIts. I could eat a box in a one sitting but it lasted 5 sittings. That is progress! I think I am ready to try Phase 3 of Intuitive Eating soon.

8 comments:

  1. Oh, I'm so sorry, Jen. Please be kind to yourself. Grief is so difficult to work through. Hang in there. Sending you a big hug.

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  2. Losing a parent is so hard and so individual. No two people have the same experience. My own experience was to decide to cut back on life, and live day by day. I didn't force myself to do things, time sitting quietly and achieving nothing is actually part of the process. A day I got out of bed was a good day. I did find things got easier after the first year. First birthday, first Christmas without them and the lack of contact at special events (whatever they may be) are always hard and you feel neglected and alone, even if you have one parent left.

    It does get better. There is no rush to "feel better". Take your time.

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  3. I'm sorry, Jen. I know how hard it can be to "mark" the time since we lost someone.

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  4. Jen, I'm so sorry I missed your original post about this. My deepest sympathies...my mother died two years ago this summer and the grief still sneaks up on me at unexpected moments. Be patient and gentle with yourself...the workplace (and society in general) may only give us a few days off for bereavement, but it takes a lot longer than that to process the loss.

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  5. I'm so sorry for your loss, Jen. I can't imagine how tough it must be. Let yourself have the bad weeks as you take small steps toward better ones.

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  6. Cheesitz- you and me both! I LOVE them!

    I am so sorry for your pain. I'm sure it will take you a long while before you feel better about your loss.

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  7. My condolences Jen.
    I had to laugh about the Cheezits though. Cheezits are big in our family. My daughter was just visiting me and when she went back to work they had a vase of flowers, a box of cheezits and blueberry muffins on her desk for her. I gather she was missed. :)
    I lost my dad about 12 years ago and sometimes I just sit and think twelve years? It did get easier for me, but even in all that time there are still days when I think boy, would he enjoy sitting in our yard or fishing with us.

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  8. I'm so sorry for the loss and the pain. I can't imagine but I'm sure it's tough. I hope you are kind to yourself and practice some major self love at this time! <3 <3

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