Thursday, July 26, 2012

Boots Update

I am so happy that I have a therapy appointment tomorrow morning because boy do I need it.

I haven’t given an update on Boots because the news isn’t good. He is still having seizures and they don’t know why but it is probably a brain tumor. The thought of having to put Boots to sleep makes me so sad.

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When I got Boots I was in a bad place. I did not want to come home to an empty apartment only to feel totally alone. I felt like I was unlovable, unlikeable and generally worthless. Not that much has changed but Boots gave me a reason to come home and to continue.

He was my friend unconditionally. He doesn’t mind if I am sad or happy, fat or thin, just that I am.

I am not sure what I am going to do. He is a young cat but if it is a brain tumor, I don’t know.

What will be my photographic muse?

I am still struggling, especially tonight. Walking home from the T station tonight, I started to cry, why I am not sure. I thought if this is the next 30 years, I don’t want any part of it.

Trying to carry a stiff upper lip and not be “depressed” during the day takes a toll on me. By the time I get home, I can’t do it anymore and I break down. It is easier to pretend then to listen to more people telling me to cheer up.

Thankfully tomorrow is my therapy appointment. I have a lot to talk about.

4 comments:

  1. Jen, I am so sorry about Boots. I know that it is devestating when our cats are sick--they are such a part of us. I will be keeping you both in my prayers and thoughts.

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  2. I definitely know how you feel. My family and I said good bye to our kitty, Sammy, in April. It was very difficult but he was very sick. The only condolence for us was that we knew he wasn't in pain in anymore. I hope for the best for your Boots.

    Take care, Jen.

    Kristen

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  3. I'm so sorry Boots isn't getting any better. Just keep loving him while you have him. Take carexx

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