Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Beginning of a New Journey

Guess what came from the UPS guy today?

IMAG0077

Let some food sanity for me start today. I am tired of abusing my body. I am tired of this binge, purge, binge, purge cycle that I have been on for so long. I will be talking about it as I read the book and apply it to my crazy disordered way to eating.  Boots was interested as well.

I wanted to talk about something that happened this weekend that totally threw me for a loop. I was at a party on Friday night minding my own business when a woman came up to me asked “How many kids do you have?” I said, “None” and before it was totally out of mouth she was gone.

Really? Must there be this competition from those with kids and those without. I am a late thirty something woman who is unmarried and childless. If I want to have friends at my age, I am bound to meet people with kids. I love kids. I wish I could have kids of my own. It does not make me any less of a woman. I have not been blessed with kids.

I know the woman who asked me that question had some major social issues that I can not begin to fathom. I will not let it get me down and it will not turn into a reason to be tell myself I am unlovable and go on from there for my lack of a husband and kids.

Sometimes I will never understand people but in some ways, I don’t want to.

17 comments:

  1. Ugh, people like that make me so angry. How rude! I don't understand people like that either, where are the boundaries? I can't tell you how many times people asked me why we didn't have children yet along our 3+ year fight with infertility. Each time I died a little inside. Having children is not a given for so many reasons and no one should be so presumptuous as to butt into anyone's business about it. Grr. Ok, stepping off my soapbox now. ;-)

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    1. You can get on your soapbox anytime Angela :)

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  2. Um, ok, that was kind of strange to be randomly asked a question like that. Whether you have kids or not is not any reflection on you as a woman! I'm a wife and mom (of a now grown-up child) and I am still a separate individual entity. I love my family dearly, but they don't make me more or less of a woman. You know, I think you were right when you said that clearly this poor woman has some struggles and not to take it personally.

    I'm looking forward to hearing how the book reading goes. I'm really, really struggling with my eating right now so I'm interested to learn anything I can about healthy eating.

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    1. It was recommended to me by a few friends. I will certainly be talking about it.

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  3. That was a bizarre encounter. I don't have kids, either, and that doesn't make me less of a woman or human being, or less interesting or valuable. You've got the right attitude--just let it go.

    I am interested in hearing about that book too. I eat so much when I'm not hungry, and it's frustrating.

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    1. I will be talking about it, believe me.

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  4. One of my favorite things about this world we live in is that there is room for all of us. And we're all different. Part of what makes this world a wonderful place is that we ARE all different. We all contribute different things in different ways. Right now I have 5 kids 11 and younger. It's hard. I love them and I am so thankful for them, but the fact is, because of them my contribution to "society" or whatever, CANNOT be what yours or someone else's is. I do not work at a job, I take care of kids and family and home all day. Sometimes it's hard to accept that I'm not out there using my degrees and making money and all that stuff.

    You are an amazing person. Not just part of you, all of you. You are YOU. And nobody else could do what you do the way you do it. And the world is a better place because you are in it, doing what you do, in the way that you do it. I love this quote: "Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?" Not saying that you're trying to fit in, but don't let somebody else make you feel like you're any less because you don't fit some mold that society supposedly thinks you should.

    Sorry...I know I don't really comment much (maybe I never have) but I come read. I just feel really strongly about how amazing people are. Individually. You never know somebody's whole story. And we all totally rock, in our own way.

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    1. Thanks.I do like that quote. I do try to "fit in" and when something like this comes along to show me that I don't "fit in" then it bothers me. It did bother me but you know what, I like being different.

      Taking care of 5 kids is a job within itself. My sister has 3 boys (12,11,9) and she told me once that she is envious of me since I can go anywhere, do anything, at anytime. I am envious of her because she has 3 beautiful boys and a husband. The grass is always greener.

      I haven't used my degree since I walked the stage 15 years ago :)

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  5. Wow, it's amazing how some people lack basic social skills. I have a scar on my neck and I have had several complete strangers ask me how I got it...one lady even called it an "ugly scar." I'm so used to the scar that I hardly even see it anymore, so I am always tempted to thank these people for reminding me. lol
    I like what Suzanne said..we all totally rock!

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    1. I have two scars on my upper arm that are similar. People would tell me they were ugly but then the freckles covered them up.

      I tend to start to share war stories when someone mentions their scars. I can't help it.

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  6. Oh I know what you mean about other women not viewing us single childless women as part of their special motherhood club. It doesn't make us any less woman! I run into this from time to time where other women don't take me seriously because of my single childless status.

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    1. We can form our own little club :)

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  7. I am a 41 year old single, never married woman with NO kids. I have to tell you it makes me sad that people do that. I don't want to be defined by being a single never married no kids person. I want to be definend as being kind, honest, a good friend, ect. I'm starting to get tired of being "the bigger person" but what else can you do!

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    1. Damn right. You are a kind, honest, good friend :)

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  8. If someone offers you a present and you refuse it, who owns the present? They do.
    If someone's crappy or negative towards you and you refuse it. It stays with them too.
    I found this little gem a couple of weeks ago and it's been nothing but a plus.
    Onwards and upwards :-)

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  9. Um...that was weird. I don't have kids, either, and it's amazing how many people seem to think my life is incomplete because of that. I say kids are wonderful, but even if you have them you should not be identifying yourself through them. Same goes for a spouse.

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  10. As a favorite auntie, I get that reaction once in awhile. Or my child-full friends will do things together that I don't get invited to because I don't have a kidlet to bring. It is what it is. Used to bother me, but I decided to stop fretting about it. Now I enjoy the alone time for what it is. Time to do whatever the heck I want!

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