Sunday, March 4, 2012

Reminiscing

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your thoughts and prayers. You are awesome Smile

Mom had been sick for a long time. She was first diagnosed 13 years ago and had been ill prior to that so we had been grieving for a long time. Over the last 10 months, she has been in a coma like state, not talking, walking, opening her eyes and just being there breathing that each time I went to visit her, I said good bye a little at a time. Finally she is not suffering.

Putting together photo collages for her wake has been tough. Here we do a viewing for either two or four hours the day before the funeral where people come to say goodbye and talk about the deceased person. I know in other parts of the country and religions, wakes are not done like that. We have been going through old photos and my mind has been wandering on the past.

There is one picture of me, my sister who is 2 years younger than me, my mother and father and we look so happy. What happened? The dwelling on it will drive me crazy. I am really trying not to ruminate over it as I look at the pictures.  I love the pictures of Mom as I remember her from when I was young before mental illness and dementia took her. I am trying to let it get me down. I am going to hang some of these good pictures I am finding up to remind me of the good times.

I tend to dwell on the bad things and while there were lots of bad times, there were lots of good times a well. I need to remember those as well.

5 comments:

  1. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Jen! It's so hard to lose a loved one, you can only hope they are in a better place.

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  2. I could not look at pictures for a LONG time after my dad passed so I am impressed that you could do that. Sending you strength and remember to take care of YOU during all this. Oh, and be careful driving... very easy to get distracted

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  3. Jen, I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are able to focus on the good times. And I hope the wake is comforting too. When my father died, just knowing that family and friends were there and cared meant so much to me.

    Take care of youself too.

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  4. Been thinking of you and your family. Know how difficult it is even when its expected...still is tough. Take care of each other, remember the good times, and know thoughts and prayers are with you all. Hugs!

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  5. After my father died in 2009, we had to clean out his apartment fairly quickly. The toughest part for me was going through his clothes, as I was the only male relative around. Keep focusing on the good times, Jen.

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