What is different about this time is that I am confronting my demons head on and I am not obsessing, or at least trying my damned hardest, not to obsess over every little thing. I used to spend hours on weight loss message boards, on Facebook discussing weight loss, planning my wardrobe to the last ounce in my underwear, doing a lot of unhealthy and possibly eating disordered behaviors…..
That has stopped.
I am really trying not to be led down that road this time. Along with viewing my weight different, I am viewing the whole process differently. I am trying to live my life as normal while treating myself better including eating healthier.
I never delved into the whys much either until it was too late. I actually spoke up in the WW meeting tonight when they talked about what emotions make you eat. When I said “loneliness” and that food was “my friend” when no one else was the room went quiet.
Baring my soul like that is hard and it is times like that to know that WW is probably not the place to do that. It was just a little too deep for a WW meeting. I did get it out there though.
I know that dealing with my attention problem is at the top of my list. It is going to get worse as I lose weight. I won’t be invisible, my preferred but not-preferred state at the same time. Men will probably pay attention. I need to reign in those feelings.
I lost 2 pounds this week despite the heavy slow cooked polenta dinner I had last night that was a lot like my Italian grandmother made.
When I talk about weight loss, it will be more about what goes on in my head, than what goes in my stomach, because that is where my problem is.
Little outrage of the day:
I heard they are remaking 21 Jump Street!
How can this be? I watched this in high school and had a crush on Peter DeLuise. Josh Harnett is well, wicked handsome himself, but to remake such a piece of my teenage years. Gah!