Saturday, November 26, 2011

5 Things: Dealing with Loneliness

I woke up this morning feeling alone. Very much alone with a cat three inches from my face, but alone. I decided I must GET OUT of my apartment no matter what. I didn’t want to sit at home watching Indiana Jones movies yet again.

I decided to go into Boston and just roam around. It felt like the right thing to do even though lots of people around, I still felt alone. It was something I could not shake.

I roamed around Barnes & Noble for a while. It is a new habit of mine to find books and scan them into Goodreads on my phone to get them from the library or through Amazon. I could go through stacks of books and spend all day doing that.

I bought more clothing and a purse with a coupon. Feeling shitty shopping should be banned.

My five things tonight and things I should have done when I feel lonely.

1. Get a cup of coffee and actually sit in a coffee shop.

Even sitting reading drinking a latte, watching people, would have been a good day. I meet some interesting people that way. Sometimes people are compelled to talk to me when I am sitting, reading while drinking coffee.

2. Taken a walk

After getting the coffee, I could have taken a walk. I live near the beach and it is about a 15 minute walk from my apartment. It was a gorgeous day here in Boston. I did walk this afternoon from Copley Square to Park Street station.

3. Call a friend.

I have never been a phone talker. I am not one to call someone just to talk. Maybe I should have. A friendly voice would have been welcome today.

4. Visit the library

The library in my city is awesome. It is one of the best libraries around. I could roam about for a long time. I have my list of books to get on my phone and I could have looked around for a long time.

5. Visit Dad.

I have been avoiding my family specifically my Dad. I don’t know why. I don’t want him to see me depressed. We will talk about the past and then I will leave more depressed. Though he would have liked to have seen me and if he is feeling ok, he would not have talked about the past and I would have felt better. I am sure.

I went to see Mom yesterday so there was no need to go today. She was sleeping when I was there. She is usually sleeping and I just sit and watch her. I talk to her softly so I won’t wake her up.

How was your Saturday?

PS I am giving away a free Real Simple subscription for year. Entering is simple so you should enter Smile

3 comments:

  1. Morning Jen, don't beat yourself up about what you could of done. There's always something we could of done(and when I say we I mean everybody).
    What's your beach like, is it dunes or just flat sand, built up or empty? hopefully I'm going down to the coast next weekend. Even though I'm an old fart I still harbour the belief that I'll find a bit of treasure, a message in a bottle, some huge beached whale. Most times though one of my shoes finds a little gift left by a dog :-(

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  2. I have days like this too where I think about all the things I could have done to stop myself from feeling so alone. But sometimes, for me anyway, it's just something I have to get myself through by feeling the hurt and the loneliness.

    I hope you're feeling better now.

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  3. Hi Jen,

    I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad day. Can you think of anything that might have brought it on? Or was it just a letdown after Thanksgiving and Black Friday? I've had days like that too, and shopping just seems to take me even lower.

    I spent the day working and moving to the home of some friends to house sit while they are away for a week. I don't have cable or even a TV antenna, so I don't have TV at home. When I got to their house, I spent most of the evening watching TVO (public television station, like your PBS), which I miss since giving up cable. My friends' dog and cat are very friendly, so they are making me feel welcome.

    Hope you're feeling better.
    J

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