Today I am just blah. Totally blah.
I am not sure why. I feel ok. Maybe it is because I did not get out of the dungeon today. Or maybe just because I got at $879 bill for an hour of counseling for the weight loss surgery and I am going to have to haggle it out with United Healthcare. Just makes me sick to my stomach. Just to listen to my ramblings for an hour? Really?
I don’t know. I feel a bit defeated, tired, overwhelmed and honestly, angry. No wonder why I can’t get out of bed in the morning.
My mind had the days all mixed up this week. I thought yesterday was Wednesday, today Thursday, which would make tomorrow Friday. Wrong. I don’t have a long weekend either like so much of the country. My next holiday off is Thanksgiving in November.
The other day there was a problem with Mom’s g-tube that meant it might have to come out. It would not go back in. The tube ended up being ok but one of these times, it won’t be and the call will be that it has to come out and the end will begin. Some times I just wish it would come to stop the suffering.
I think I need a mental health day sooner rather than later.
I am tired. I am off to retreat into a book.