If I could get out of bed at 5 am everyday, life would be easier. Dad had a ultrasound of his kidney today at 8 am and I was driving him. To get there in plenty of time, I picked him up a little after 6:30 and we got to the hospital at 7:30. Luckily we had extra because we were in the wrong building on the other side of the hospital but we had time to get over there and get a cup of coffee for myself. His ultrasound went ok and I drove him home to Weymouth only to drive back into Boston for work.
The meeting tonight was needed. I had a killer headache at work, probably from getting 5.5 hours of sleep and was hoping it would help. It did. Sometimes you just got to talk.
The talk tonight was focused on the future. I haven’t thought much about the future. I never dreamed of my wedding or babies or anything really. I always dwelled more on the past, on things I can’t change or do anything about. For awhile it was all I was ruminating about. Chewing it over in my head over and over.
I most try to focus on the here and now and being mindful but I do think about the future and the wonder of it now. I am open to meeting new people and letting new experiences take over. That is something new. Maybe I am starting to panic a bit because at 37, I am just realizing this but it is never too late. Right?
We also talked about dealing with guilt trips from parents. My father is the king of guilt trips and for a bit, I was totally susceptible to them but then I started to dish it back. I was always one of push back, even as a kid. Dad told me he was proud of me for always questioning him.I am just as good at the guilt trips now