Self Compassion is something I am sorely lacking. I had a bad week and I turned to food. I had been beating myself up all day calling myself names. You know what though, I had a hard week. Dad was in the hospital yet again. Work was crazy. Mom is like a zombie. It gets emotionally tiring and I caved.
It happens. I am not superwoman. Nor do I really want to be.
There has been a little voice in my head telling me that I must lose weight because I am fat and I don’t want to get chastised by my doctors nor do I want health problems like my father has.
It is coincidence that a book I ordered from Amazon a while ago came in.
I will talk about it as I read it. It is something I need.
Happiness was also discussed tonight. I have been looking for “happiness” for most of my 37 years. I thought if I lost my weight, I would be happy. It did not work that way. If I go out with a guy, I will be happy. Ah, no.
Is happiness a destination or is it little bits of happiness rolled into a happy life?
Is it the feeling I get when Boots is purring and curling up near me and I just feel happy. That first sip of coffee in the morning makes me happy. Is is when someone smiles at me? Have I spent a lot of time looking for the place Happiness only to find that it is more like a street?
Another Wednesday, another mind a buzzing…..