Thanks to Google and my mind, I found out some stuff about someone from my past that I wasn’t prepared for. Why I was looking him up, I don’t know. I knew nothing good would come of it. What am I still in high school? I knew what my reaction would be if I found what I was “looking” for and I found it. Deep in the pit of my stomach, I felt sick. Luckily, I decided to go walk down to Wollaston Beach because things would deteriorate from there if I continued. Why do I do this to myself?
So today, I am listing what has been swirling around in my head.
1. In relation to the above, I have had this song lyric from Bruce Hornsby & The Range’s The Valley Road “good enough to hire not good enough to marry” stuck in my head. That is what I feel like. Only, if I had stayed with any of the men in my past, I would not be happy. They all treated me like shit. I wasn’t good enough. Screw that poofer, handsome Italian Mama’s boy, Irish boy and the people that came and went. I am tired of being treated horrible.
2. Mom said about 25 words today, which is utterly amazing. They put her back on Abilify. If you hear commercials for Abilify saying “elderly dementia patients should not take Abilify” well, cross out elderly because Mom isn’t but she’s one of those dementia patients taking Abilify. She also looked brighter and happier.
It is because Dad came with me to visit. He had not come since he got sick, about a month before he went into the hospital for pneumonia. He was afraid of getting everyone there sick. She lit up for him though.
3. Did you hear about the link between antidepressants and the increased risk of breast and/or ovarian cancer in women? I did. Though it concerns me a little, I grew up next to a Superfund site in Holbrook, MA. I have drunk out of enough BPA filled bottles etc. that if it is going to get me, it will. I’d probably not be here now if weren’t for the antidepressants.
4. Why didn’t I run into him while I was working in Kendall Square?
I just found that the Beast Hunter blog, where I got the picture, but I am not sure if it is actually him writing. He is like the perfect guy.
5. I am going to relax with Netflix tonight.