Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sunday Worries

Sunday nights are always hard. I feel especially lonely on Sundays for some reason. The quiet of the night and the impending doom of the work week take effect. I had a good weekend so far. One mini-binge but I really stopped myself before I got too far.

I also encountered Girl Scout Cookies for the first time today in Shaw’s and I bought 2 boxes. One Lemonades, which I love, and Shout-Outs, which I had never seen before. They are Belgian caramel cookies. So far, I have not eaten the whole box.

I am going to try to take Wednesday off because I need a mental health day and I need a day to get some things done on my car. I can’t seem to do everything on the weekend.

I didn’t go see Mom this weekend. Last weekend, she was not doing well. Not doing well is the new normal for her. She was chewing when I got there. She can be like a little packrat squirreling away food in her mouth. She also had an accident and she was not interested in me at all.

Of course it kills me on the inside. I miss my Mom a lot. I could use a Mom to talk to and I am terribly jealous of those with healthy Moms who recognize you. Mom is not coming back and it is only going to get worse from here. She does not respond to me at all. She barely looks at me and when she does, she has no clue who I am.  I always feel so guilty when I don’t see her. Next weekend, I don’t have much planned so far except to go see her.

Dad called me about 5 times yesterday. He was lonely and concerned about Secret Sister. We talked about current events and his health. I worry about him so much. He told me tonight, he wants to get lap band surgery, which for him, would be life saving, I think. He is worried about death, I know. He called me tonight and apologized about all the calls yesterday. I understand and I wish I could do more.

Tomorrow is the start of a new week plus we are expecting snow. I hope this week goes well.

Don’t forget to enter my give away. I will pick a winner on Tuesday.

1 comment:

  1. I do understand how you feel about your mom... it is my dad in my case. My dad has a brain injury and lives in a PCH about 30miles from me. He doesn't know me most days and I really miss him. The only advice I can give is to hang on to your memories... I made a scrapbook for my dad and i to look at of me growing up and I love to look at it. He doesn't reply to it at all but it does help me. (have u read my other blog visibleangels?)

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