Tuesday, January 18, 2011

A Small Side Post

I am going to post some pictures and stuff from the food bloggers event but before that, I thought I would get a few unrelated things out of the way.

I took a mental  health/sick day today. It was needed. I was at a low last night and feel better today.

I have absolutely wonderful Valentine’s Day plans. I am going to get my ob/gyn physical that night. So if I don’t feel crappy enough, I get to feel even better! My GP yelled at me for not going to get my physical and booked an appointment for me. I won’t be doing anything that day most likely anyways.

My GP also talked about weight loss surgery again. Even though I have lost about 4 pounds in 2 weeks (probably gone at WI tomorrow if my WI at the doctors is an indication), it made my heart drop. I can lose the weight. I have lost 100+ pounds twice and I can do it again. My BMI is not high enough for my insurance to cover it so it is not an option.

I will do it the healthy way not with self-hatred but all I heard from her is “Your depression will be better if you lose weight.” I chuckled inside at that. No, it won’t be better. I was just as depressed if not more depressed at my lowest weight then now. No, that shadow is here no matter what the weight but I can do things different. Loving myself is what is going to be different.

My life isn’t going to magically get wonderful when I lose the weight. My problems will still be my problems. I just need to treat myself better to deal with them better along with treating some of my other “issues”.

I also bought a ticket to see Pete Yorn at the House of Blues in Boston in March. No one seemed interested and those that did don’t know his music so I decided just to get a ticket for myself. I love his music.  I don’t care that I am going by myself. If you are going, I got a general admission ticket anyways.

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