Wednesday, October 6, 2010

If it is not a stroke…

it is cancer. Dad has skin cancer. He is not really sure what kind of skin cancer but he  definitely has it on his hand.

It isn’t majorly serious but just another thing to worry about. Almost all of my worry in life goes to worrying about my father and my mother. Since they are both 62 years old, I should not have to worry about them so much. They should be enjoying life. 

I know where this goes. Down hill. I went to visit my Dad tonight and I just started to cry for no real reason. I am tired. My upper back hurts. I am worried. Part of me wants to run away. I can’t take much more.

Plus I worked at our old office today where there was massive jack hammering and building shuddering going all day. I could not hear myself thing and it gave me quite a headache. I hate working in that office now.

I dream of moving away. Far away to someplace that where I will be able to buy a house someday and have better weather. Life will just be better but it won’t. I know it won’t. All of my family is here and I could not live with myself and leave Mom.  I will probably be here forever, probably be 80 years old and grumbling about it.

For now, I will just visit places and file them away as possible places to live someday.

Another day, another Unprocessed October attempt.

Breakfast: Old fashioned oats, lemon curd, cranberries, coffee

Lunch – Leftovers from last night – brown rice, peppers, onions, black beans, chick peas, tikka masala sauce, cheese stick.

No afternoon snack.

Dinner – Tuna fish, chopped apples, mayonnaise, Terra Blue chips.

Soon – Tea with honey.

I am waiting for my laundry to be done then it is off to bed for this tired red head.

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