Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Not Alone

I had a whole long blog post done in my head last night. I knew what I wanted to type. I went to turn the computer on and my monitor was black. At last, my monitor has died. I want to take it out and dispose of it Office Space style but I need to track down a baseball bat for that.

After all these years, I realized that being alone makes me feel worse. I spent most of the day Saturday and Sunday alone. My partner in crime, Secret Sister, was off in Washington state visiting the step-cousins and Dad was pushing all the right buttons during the visit to Mom on Saturday that I had to just leave. I didn't want to argue and that was where it was headed.

So I spent the last long weekend of summer watching movies, chilling out with Boots, reading and knitting, but the longer I was alone, the worse I felt. I think, no I know, I need to be around people in addition to my family. I love being around my friends.

I realized that maybe perhaps I am closed to a relationship after all. This thought that I am meant to be alone is not true. If that is what was holding me back, it won't anymore. I am not sure what being open is but I know I was not meant to be alone. I am not going to wait for things to come to me.

To top it off, I need to get a new monitor. 

2 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh!!

    I have a nice flat screen monitor in my basement, barely used, that I really don't want to move to my new place next month because I never use it. I live in Quincy and can meet you anywhere--I'd love to give it away just to have less stuff in my house! Shoot me an email (amanda.caddell@gmail.com)!!

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  2. Hi, it's Sarah - we met briefly last Wed at knit night...I was the rebel crocheter! ;)

    Someone beat me to it - but in case that nice flat screen monitor falls through, I have a big, honking, CRT monitor collecting dust in my 2nd bedroom that's yours if you want it! I'm sgiaccai (at) gmail if you want it...let me know!

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