After all these years, I realized that being alone makes me feel worse. I spent most of the day Saturday and Sunday alone. My partner in crime, Secret Sister, was off in Washington state visiting the step-cousins and Dad was pushing all the right buttons during the visit to Mom on Saturday that I had to just leave. I didn't want to argue and that was where it was headed.
So I spent the last long weekend of summer watching movies, chilling out with Boots, reading and knitting, but the longer I was alone, the worse I felt. I
I realized that maybe perhaps I am closed to a relationship after all. This thought that I am meant to be alone is not true. If that is what was holding me back, it won't anymore. I am not sure what being open is but I know I was not meant to be alone. I am not going to wait for things to come to me.
To top it off, I need to get a new monitor.