Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Peering Out


Isn’t that rat cute? I think so but that is not the point. I feel like a rat in a cage. Always looking outside but trapped.

Maybe I am just losing hope. As I get closer to 37, I fear that I wasted so much time dwelling on the past that now that I think about the future, I feel I missed much of it and that I probably won’t get it. My chance to have a family was messed up by silly mistakes I made with past boyfriends.

I am not sure what has gotten into me tonight. I went for a walk to a grocery store about 1.5 miles from my house to buy a few groceries and it felt good but when I got home I got back into that thought mode and it just brings me down.

I got an email from Dove Movement for Self Esteem today. I thought to myself wish I had a daughter to do that with but then thought that my self esteem is in the toilet today. I need fix my self esteem before I helped anyone with theirs.

I have pledged to eat unprocessed food in October at Eating Rules. I’ll write more about it tomorrow because it was a last second thing I added because I just joined off of a blog I read. You should join me.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

My Parachute


A while ago, I read “What Color is Your Parachute?” and I was more confused after I read it then before.  With the uncertainty at work, I have been thinking about how I would really love to get away from working in a Big Ass Company like the one I work for.

I was driving on the Expressway tonight coming home from work (yes, I overslept yet again that I had to drive in) thinking about what I would like to do. I DON’T KNOW. I am 36 and I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

1. I miss school. Yes, I do. I like taking classes. I have taken a few science classes in the last few years that the nerd in me loved. What would I study? I DON’T KNOW. I want to study it all.

2. I would love to do work related to a hobby like working in a library because I love books and I have a freakish love of research or work in a yarn store. I am not sure I could survive financially working in the later option.

3. I am just tired of having to give up my right arm to get a vendor on the accounting system at work. BACs are very bureaucratic. This is a huge frustration in my day to day job. Each day it seems new additional paperwork for one task or another is needed.

I want to go back to the days when staring a Richard Scary books made me happy.


Can I be transported to Busy Town?

In a little bit of other news, I had my 6 month mole check today. Being fair skinned, freckled and moley sucks sometimes. I have had several atypical moles dug out in the past and they found one mole that they biopsied today. Lets hope it is only atypical and not melanoma.

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Vacation Is Over Blues

Today was my first day back to work since I got back from Pittsburgh. It started out with a low tire pressure warning on the Focus and ended with a jerk walking into my office and yelling at me because I could not help him. I was happy when it was over. In between was a lot of big company problems like checks sent to the wrong place, whatever was going to go wrong with my tenants did go wrong and it was just one of those days filled with jerky jerks.

I know it is time to update and redo my resume. I have 8 years experience in all facets commercial real estate property management and lease administration. I am going to look out for myself and see what is out there.

Tonight it is cool and foggy. That kind of weather sort of makes me introspective and a bit lonely. Luckily,Lone Star,  a new show I first watched on the flight back from Boston was on TV tonight, which made it halfway bearable.

The good part of my day was that the man at the gas station this morning saw me struggling with their crazy air hose that I could not figure out and he offered to help me. He put air into all 4 of my tires since while the Focus told me there was low tire pressure, it did not say which tire it was. I was really appreciative and it put a smile on my face.

I bought tickets to Bloggy Boot Camp in Boston next May. I am excited. It is another thing to look forward to.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

5 Things: My Weekend

I am a day late and a dollar short on my post for yesterday. I have just been too busy and in the case of yesterday, I totally overslept then was gone until midnight.

1. My weekend started off at the Vino Voyage with my friends Mia and Julianne on Thursday night.









It was a lot of fun. I got to hang out with two friends of mine and we had a lot of fun. The boat cruised around Boston harbor on a gorgeous night. It wasn’t too hot or cold. There were about 30 wine distributors there and your ticked included all the wine you wanted to taste. It was a nice night out with the girls.

 2. My Friday consisted of a therapy appointment for me, a social work appointment for Dad and a date with a friend. Since he reads this blog, I am sort of reluctant to write about him but we have gone out a few times. I have a good time when I am with him and he is easy to talk to. I knew him before I started to date Rich, the poofer, but things were not right then. He was living in a different state and stuff them Rich came along.

3. Trace Adkins and Toby Keith – They were playing at the Comcast Center on Saturday and after totally over sleeping, I went to see the show with Secret Sister and two really good friends, Jodi and Bonnie, who I don’t see as often as I would like.


I am not a huge country music fan but they do put on a good show. The tailgating in the parking lot is where all of the cowboy hats in New England come out of hiding.

I am totally disappointed in missing the Fluff Festival. I would have said an Ode to Fluff. If you grew up in New England, fluff was a food staple, at least it was for me.

4. This morning was the Alzheimer Association walk. It was a gorgeous day in Boston and the six miles that me and Secret Sister walked went by in no time. Next year, we are going to get more people to walk and make t-shirts with Mom on them.

5. A win is a win. It didn’t look pretty but I’ll take it.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Boston in Pittsburgh

Hi everyone! I am glad to be back home but I found out that Pittsburgh has a much maligned and not deserved reputation in Boston. I will excuse their misguided Steelers ways, not every city can be perfect.

I arrived on Tuesday after an uneventful JetBlue flight from Boston. I realized I left my glasses at home. The world was a fuzzy blur after I took my contacts out. I was hoping that I would not rip one of them then I’d really be in trouble. Luckily, my contacts survived the trip.

I stayed at The Priory. It was one home to Benedictine monks and priests and was converted into an inn. The inn definitely had an older feeling about it but I thought the architecture and the rooms were comfortable and cute.


The outdoor courtyard was really nice. I loved the architecture and the way the shadows from the trees hit the building.



I met up with a friend from a message board that I have posted on for a long time. She took me to Church Brew Works, which was one of the coolest and most unusual places I have been to in a while. There is nothing like it here in Boston.  It was a brew pub/restaurant in a church and the church feel was still very much present.



I had some unusual pierogies and a buffalo burger for dinner and both the food and beer were very good. I would recommend it if you are in the area.


Then we went up to Mount Washington and I got to look at the city at night. The view was awesome.


I love the look of the building with the multiple spires on the left side of the photo. There was something very cool about the building.


I got the history nerd in me all excited on Wednesday when I went to the Senator John Heinz History Center with another long time message board friend. The museum was just cool.





When in Pittsburgh, you must get Primanti’s once and I continued the tradition.


It took me a minute to figure out how to tackle this beast. Notice the fries in the sandwich. I am told that fries are in everything in Pittsburgh, even salads. It was something I had to do. It was delicious though!



I spent much of that afternoon walking around the city and using buses. I went to Shadyside, Oakland, where I got in a traffic jam because of a gas leak. I went back downtown and it started to storm so I waited it out in a Starbucks.

I walked back to the hotel but found a bar, Soho,where I had a few ciders and some pizza. I was exhausted from walking around and I got back to the hotel and collapsed on the bed.


When I left Thursday morning, I was happy to be home but was really happy I got to see Pittsburgh and make some new friends.

Monday, September 20, 2010


I leave for Pittsburgh tomorrow morning. I am really looking forward to exploring, checking out the museums, the people, everything. Travelling alone really gets you out of your comfort zone. If you want to interact with people, you have to break down that wall and talk to people. Since I am not renting a car, I hope to get a lot of walking done.

When I get back from Pittsburgh on Thursday, I go home, get changed and get on a boat to go on a Vino Voyage.From air to sea in one day.

There is a concert this weekend and at some point I want to squeeze in some time with a friend of mine.

I am going to Boston Blogtoberfest this year. This will be my second year going and it will be easier this year I think. After going to Blogher and being in the whirlwind of 2500 women, this should be fine.  I enjoy meeting new people and I have business cards this year so it should be a fun time.

I won’t be blogging until I get back from Pittsburgh but I am bringing my camera and I will have lots to tell you when I get back.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

5 Things: Boots Takes Over

It is about time that Boots gets some love here on the blog. My buddy. Who says dogs are the only ones that can tell your mood? I am convinced cats can too.


1. Sappy Owners – She lets me drink water out of a dripping tap. She sings to me and has all sorts of strange words that she uses while talking to me. I wait for her when she comes home and she goes all kitty crazy on me.


2. Harmony Farms Cat Food – I love this stuff.












3. Blue Buffalo soft food – See above.


4. Napping – I love to nap. This is one of my new favorite places.



5. Stuffed Chipmunks – Since she keeps me locked up, all I can do is look out the windows at the squirrels and chipmunks mocking me. I have this stuffed one to keep me occupied.


Friday, September 17, 2010

Tonight’s Not The Night

for anything interesting. I am just resting up before my incredibly busy week next week. My coughing has died done to a reasonable amount. I am feeling much better in general. I got out out of work a little early this afternoon and napped. I love naps.

This morning I left my phone at home accidently. I don’t like to do that but I wasn’t going to turn around and get it. When I got home this afternoon, Dad had called me 7 times and left 5 messages. I thought he had another stroke, heart attack, was in the emergency room, something. No, he just wanted to talk. I was relieved it was nothing but the 7 missed calls scared me.

I hope to wake up and go for a long walk in the morning. I love the crisp air in the morning during the fall. It rained here today but it should be gone by the morning, I hope. Walking clears my head and is great exercise. The fact that I am not coughing so much is my queue to get back out there.

I have a date with the TV tonight.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Mood 24/7

I was invited through Wellsphere to test out Mood 24/7. It is a new program through Johns Hopkins University that will track your daily moods.  It will send a text message to a number you designate and you reply with a number 1 (low) through 10 (high) with a time you want your text message to come.

I decided to participate to track my moods in addition to this blog, which is a great mood tracker. I can look back at almost any date in the last two years and find high and low points.

Tonight, right at 8 pm, I got my text. I was contemplating the number to put. Today was a crumby day at work. I should get my resume ducks in order. I have to change the way I have been working and not care so much about my job. The passion me and my boss have for wanting a better work environment and system is not getting us anywhere at work and it is just going to mean that our passion is being mistaking for pushiness, cynicism and Boston rudeness.

I have been coughing nonstop. I stopped tonight to get some cough medicine, a thermometer and some Ricola cherry lozenges. I get a bit whiny and contemplative when sick and tonight is no different. I don’t feel particularly bad just aching from all the coughing. Lots of Nyquil before bed tonight.

I gave it a Mood 5 sick. I was honest. I feel sort of blah. The green eyed monster was out and about. I was jealous of the people I see all happy and together. I was not feeling my best. Everything just propelled me downward. At least the weekend is almost here.

Tomorrow will be a better day. I get to see friends I have not seen in a while on Sunday and I’ll possibly be going to an Irish festival on Saturday.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Adventures with Boots

He cried all the way to the vets office, which I totally expected. He was shaking in the carrier. I could tell he was not a happy kitty. When we got to the vets office, he would not come out of the carrier. He had to be spilled out of the carrier.

He was weighed and lost weight. After the vet tech left, he tried to hide behind my purse. Once the doctor came in, that was not a safe place. She examined him and found nothing wrong. She did mention that she wanted him to have about 250 calories a day and to look on the packages for the caloric information, which I could not find. I think he does fine with his food now.

I have one healthy kitty cat. I expect to be woken up at 3:30 to exact revenge on me for his traumatic day. Cats are like that.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Gone to the Pears

Even though today was Monday and I was feeling sick, I woke up in a decent mood. Work was extremely busy. It was a struggle to get through the day as my head hurt worse and was happy to leave. It was one of those almost fall asleep on the T commutes until a shouting match took place on the car I was on. Can't a girl close her eyes in peace on the T? Luckily, it did not turn into a police action. They got off at the stop before mine.

In a week, I will be on my way to Pittsburgh!

I did do a little knitting this weekend. I finished two pear wash clothes that I was working on.

Boots has a vet appointment tomorrow for his yearly check up. It will be battle to get him in the carrier and I will win that battle. If you are in Quincy and hear constant yowling coming from a car around 6 pm, it is him. He hates the car. He will yowl the entire way, which is not far at all. I am sure he is a healthy kitty.

Sunday, September 12, 2010


It is that time of year again. Today, I put on my old Patriots jersey, took some Mucinex D and planted myself on the couch to watch the game. With the blanket over me and Boots on my thigh, I settled down with no intent on moving.

It was a good game. The Patriots won. I was happy. My thigh was numb. Fourteen pounds of kitty on your thigh for 3 hours gets tiring. Now, I just feel weird. Hungry yet not hungry. I should probably eat something. 

I finish my Orla Kiely knitted pears that should look like the pears on this:

Since I am lazy tonight, I will take photos tomorrow. I got the pattern from Mason Dixon Knitting's blog and I could not pass it up. 

Saturday, September 11, 2010

5 Things: What happened to these bands?

I loved these bands. I sing to their music. Some of it makes me happy. What happened to them?

1. Everclear - As in so many of our lives, everything was not Wonderful, and maybe that is why I loved them. From their website, I see that they are touring but not with a lot of the original members. If they come to Boston, I will have to see them.

2. They Might Be Giants - Their songs are just awesome. I sing along. I get happy. I want a little birdhouse in my soul. Now they are singing for kids. Their shows must be awesome. They are in town this weekend! I wish I could go.

3. The Offspring - The more I listen to their old stuff, the more I love it.  Self Esteem, Get a Job, Pretty Fly for a White Guy, I don't know but I like it. They are still around per their website.

4. Better Than Ezra - It was just Good. I liked their music and it's good to see they are still around.

5. Spacehog - They have one of my favorite songs of all time, In the Meantime. I am not sure why I like it so much, I just do. I see they have broken up.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Jeans for Giants

Therapy today went well. I discussed the events of the last week with the nutritionist and my feelings on being alone. We moved on from my family. It was productive. It started the day off well.

Tonight, I realized that the Levis jeans I bought last week were a Short pair. Now, I am 5'10 and there is nothing short about me but the jeans go down almost to the floor. Does this seem right? Are they making jeans for giants?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Coming from a different place

I decided that I was going to stop using the services of my nutritionist at my gym tonight. Based on my conversations with her, I just felt that I needed to talk to my therapist about some of the issues that I discussed with her.

I didn't feel it was the right place to discuss all of the ins and outs of my issues, which is what it became. This Friday, when I see my therapist again, I will start to talk about my food issues. This whole being alone thing, my fear of attention and all the craziness in my head is coming out and talking it over with the therapist and writing about it here are the best places, not with a nutritionist.

This means I am back doing WW. I am not sure if I should write out my journal here daily or take photos, what do you think? Will you continue to read if I sprinkle some WW stuff in here and there along with my normal craziness?

I am going to be doing the Race Up Boston Place again in February. My 4th time doing the climb. I can't believe it has been 4 years. Why does time go by so fast the older I get?

I am watching Man v Food. Probably not the best show to watch while typing about joining WW. This episode is in Portland, Me. I am trying to ignore the restaurant he is doing the challenge in though the challenge is too much. How does he do it and remain such a cutie?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Not Alone

I had a whole long blog post done in my head last night. I knew what I wanted to type. I went to turn the computer on and my monitor was black. At last, my monitor has died. I want to take it out and dispose of it Office Space style but I need to track down a baseball bat for that.

After all these years, I realized that being alone makes me feel worse. I spent most of the day Saturday and Sunday alone. My partner in crime, Secret Sister, was off in Washington state visiting the step-cousins and Dad was pushing all the right buttons during the visit to Mom on Saturday that I had to just leave. I didn't want to argue and that was where it was headed.

So I spent the last long weekend of summer watching movies, chilling out with Boots, reading and knitting, but the longer I was alone, the worse I felt. I think, no I know, I need to be around people in addition to my family. I love being around my friends.

I realized that maybe perhaps I am closed to a relationship after all. This thought that I am meant to be alone is not true. If that is what was holding me back, it won't anymore. I am not sure what being open is but I know I was not meant to be alone. I am not going to wait for things to come to me.

To top it off, I need to get a new monitor. 

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Shopping Day

I woke up this morning and didn't feel like staying home. I didn't have any plans but didn't want to do nothing all day so I decided to go shopping. I wish I lived with someone so they could take my picture in what I bought. I have to figure out a better was to take pictures. 

I bought a nice slimming Jones NY skirt, and a new pair of Levis jeans and a button down blouse at Macy's. I then went to Lord & Taylor, whose plus size department I really like, and bought a Kenneth Cole skirt for $15 and a cool Karen Cane blouse and a zipper down shirt from Nine West. I got a ton of clothes for less than $100. 

While at the mall, I went into Nordstrom. They had some really nice dresses that I would have loved to try on and I am sure would have fit me well but unfortunately, I don't have another dressy occasion where I need another dress coming up. I bought the two dresses for Blogher and I have to find a time to wear those again. 

Then I hit Target. I bought some underwear, shoes, some house stuff and I had to leave the store before I bought more. I could have roamed around Target all day. I wasn't impressed with their clothing selection but I was impressed with everything else. 

Now, I want to wear those Blogher dresses again sometime soon. My 37th birthday is in November and I want to wear each of them once before then. Just 2 nights, maybe one being the Vino Voyage, that I can just get dolled up and go out and hit the town. Is it too much to ask?

Saturday, September 4, 2010

5 Things: That make me go hmmm..

Outside of getting my hair done and visiting Mom, I haven't done much today outside of nap and watch lots of TV.  In between napping, I spent a lot of time thinking to myself hmm...

1. Locked Up Abroad - really? It usually features some British tourist, occasionally an American, who thinks that they won't get caught smuggling gold or heroin and are caught and put in some horrible prison. It is fascinating yet what were these people thinking?

2.Toddlers and Tiaras - the name says it all. I could only watch about 5 minutes of it.

3.Losing followers. Why? Did I do something? I try not to take it personally but yet I do. The same thing with Facebook friends. I know it is silly. 

4. Strange noises from the guy upstairs. What is going on up there? Do I want to know?

5.I am wondering what to do tomorrow. It is supposed to be gorgeous out and I want to take advantage of it.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Match.Com Help

Some might say I am a little too open here on the blog so posting this is no big deal. I'll take your constructive criticism. I'd like to know what you think.

So here it is:

I  am friendly and outgoing. I can talk with most people easily. I am looking to meet new people and possibly start a relationship. If asked, my friends would say that I am a good catch. I have a great sense of humor but with a sarcastic side. I am active, loyal, responsible, honest and caring. I am close with my family. I am originally from Boston though I have lived in other areas of the country.

I am looking for someone who would enjoy visiting the nooks and crannies of the Boston area. Have you found a good restaurant or bar lately? Let’s check them out together. Can you discuss everything from the Patriots offensive line to history over a cup of coffee on a rainy Sunday afternoon? If you think you’re up for the challenge, send me a note. I’d love to hear from you.

for fun:

I love to explore the Boston area or just staying home watching movies. I enjoy playing trivia each week at a local pub. I knit and can sew so I am sort of crafty. I love the summer and the warmer weather.

my job:

I work in commercial real estate.

my ethnicity:

My ancestry is half Irish and half Italian.

favorite hot spots:

I feel at home at small local bars or restaurants. I love to devour the Sunday newspaper at home over coffee. I have been to Denver, Louisville, NYC and soon to be Pittsburgh this year. I love to travel. Castle Island is my favorite place in Boston.

favorite things:

I love all sorts of food but mostly into healthy eating. I am a fan of Lost, Burn Notice and White Collar. I have all sorts of music on my MP3 player. I am a life-long Patriots fan. I am a jeans and a t-shirt kind of girl but I get dressed up also.

last read:

This morning's Metro.

my pets:

I have a 3 year old tuxedo cat named Boots.

I don't think it sounds bad. Some things like Favorite Hot Spots and Favorite Things are maxed out with words.

What do you think?