This is one of the get it off of my chest posts.
I went to the nutritionist tonight. I signed up and paid for sessions at the gym. It was my intake meeting. We discussed vitamins and made some vitamin changes. We talked about my health, what genetics I have (lots to talk about there), what I wanted out of the meetings, etc.
We stepped on the scale. I was totally not prepared for the number I saw. 262.1. That is 80 lbs above when I was at my lowest since childhood. It was totally upsetting. I held it in and then the beating up began. If LOST was not on (and where the hell is that going???), I probably would have come home and cried. How could I retreated to food again? How could I let myself get up again?
I thought I was eating fairly healthy for the last month but I gained about 20lbs in the last two months. Ugh. Stress and eating while depressed got to me. But I am back on track. Hopefully, the nutritionist will not run away from all of my issues. I talked a lot during the meeting. I will have a lot to discuss at therapy in two weeks.
I will not tear myself down. I am not stupid. I am not a failure. I am not ugly. I am my own worst enemy. I go again in 2 weeks.