Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Rough Day

This is one of the get it off of my chest posts.

I went to the nutritionist tonight. I signed up and paid for sessions at the gym.  It was my intake meeting.  We discussed vitamins and made some vitamin changes.  We talked about my health, what genetics I have (lots to talk about there), what I wanted out of the meetings, etc.

We stepped on the scale.  I was totally not prepared for the number I saw. 262.1. That is 80 lbs above when I was at my lowest since childhood.  It was totally upsetting.  I held it in and then the beating up began. If LOST was not on (and where the hell is that going???), I probably would have come home and cried.  How could I retreated to food again? How could I let myself get up again? 

I thought I was eating fairly healthy for the last month but I gained about 20lbs in the last two months.  Ugh. Stress and eating while depressed got to me.  But I am back on track.  Hopefully, the nutritionist will  not run away from all of my issues. I talked a lot during the meeting. I will have a lot to discuss at therapy in two weeks.  

I will not tear myself down. I am not stupid.  I am not a failure.  I am not ugly.  I am my own worst enemy. I go again in 2 weeks. 


  1. Wow, what a wake up call huh? Guess what? You have 14 days to prepare for your next weigh-in. You have time to rock it! Get busy, chicka!

    P.S. I'm a Lostie too.

  2. Wake up calls suck. But you are a fabulous girl, and you can make the changes that you need to. You can be whatever you want to be. You are a shining star so shine on and do what makes you happy. I had a nutritionist in college and I hated her. If you need any help or advice feel free to ask me! I am 4'11 and at one point I weighed 170 and lost 55 lbs so I can actually help if you need it.

    Best of luck to you!



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