Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Step in the right direction

As part of my orientation at my new gym, I met with a registered dietitian.  I liked her off of the bat and when I talked to her about some of my "issues", she listened and said that she could help me.  I talked about how the scale has massive control over me. How I seem to do better losing weight when I hate myself.  I talked about my up and down struggles and the way I like to eat.  I need more 1 on 1 help over what I can get in WW. 

I know WW works and I have worked it in the past, but I need more then what it can offer.  Maybe I also need a support group of some kind.  My therapist suggested it once.

It costs $195 for three visits then after that it will be $64 a month for two visits.  I will see how the first three visits go.  

I ordered The Beck Diet Solution Workbook from Amazon.com this afternoon. I have heard good things about it and the the nutritionist highly recommended it.

Have you used The Beck Diet Solution Workbook?

Monday, March 29, 2010


Really, the Boston area is again getting deluged with rain.  Luckily, one of the best purchases I have made recently are my wellies. 

I was able to walk through the deep puddles without problems. The puddles were deep on the way to the T and the streets of Boston. 

There is a light at the end of the tunnel though.

Channel 5, you'd better be right!

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Guess what I found way on the bottom of the shelf at the CVS down the street from me.  The craving has been satisfied. 

This morning started with a breakfast at one of my favorite Quincy haunts, the Wheelhouse Diner.  Isn't it cool looking?

I went to visit Mom this weekend.  She was OK.  Her face seemed a little brighter then before but she was shaking uncontrollably. We think this has to do with being taken off of the Abilify cold turkey.  Abilify is some hardcore medicine and the way her leg was moving, it was all we could think of.  They doubled her Zoloft, which I am sure she was already taking lots of.  Zoloft gave her emotions originally. Without it, she was a vegetable. 

My mood today is ok.  I feel pretty good.  I took another photo to put on Match and OkCupid.  We'll see how much of a reception that gets.

How do you like the new look? Want to be on my blog roll?

Saturday, March 27, 2010


I have been talking about changes for a while.  I got an email from Blogger yesterday about a new Template Design and so it was the spark I needed.

It is a work in progress.  I have to figure out how to get all of my old posts into the new color. I don't want to go into each of the 200+ posts and change the color.  Such a pain! If you know how to do it, can you let me know?

Since it is a work in progress, let me know if there are problems.  I am keeping my eye out but sometimes, well, other people's eyes are better.

I would love to add a blog roll page.  Do you want your blog listed?

I added an About Me page.  It is another work in progress.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Yay for Fridays!

I am so happy it is Friday. More then usual. I don't have much planned this weekend except maybe a visit to Mom, some spring cleaning, singing to the cat, tv watching, knitting, a trip to the gym, maybe some shopping, you know, just a typical weekend in the life of Jen. Maybe meeting up with the OkCupid guy on Sunday. My options are open.

I am taking one day at a time and trying to enjoy myself. I spent far too much of my life wallowing and I am tired of it.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

It is down hill from here.

My Dad told me yesterday that one of his doctors thought he had Parkinson's Disease. He didn't tell me because he did not want to worry me but tests show he does not have Parkinson's. Between him and Mom, I would not be able to deal if he did have it. There are enough genetic worries with Mom!

Work this week has been stressful to say the least. I work for a conglomerate in its industry and every six months of so they try to restructure. Only to make life there not so good. We are overworked, way understaffed and under-appreciated, which is the way lots of conglomerates work. This has been going on for years and it is tiring. I think it might be time to explore other options. It seems like the weather will be good for that and maybe working on the blog work over. Also cleaning, I must clean.

I am also talking to a guy on OkCupid who seems halfway nice. I asked him if he wanted to get a drink this weekend or something.
A basic digital clock radio with analog tuningImage via Wikipedia

My mood is ok today despite the stuff at work. The sunshine helped. I have been waking up relatively on time this week also. It makes mornings not so rushed. I also HATE to be late and it bothers me immensely when I am but it is happening more and more and I am more casual about it. Maybe it is the medicine.

I started having my cell phone alarm across the room, which works when I don't shut it off and crawl back into bed. My alarm clock has become secondary to the cell phone. I could sleep through my blaring alarm clock.

Monday, March 22, 2010

It is a Conspiracy!

It is!

I have had a craving for the last week or so. It has been on my mind whenever I enter a drug store or a grocery store. I want a small package of the Cadbury Mini Eggs.

They are no where to be found. I went to Hannafords, Stop & Shop, CVS, Rite Aid and Walgreens and could not find one small package. All I could find were the big bags.

Now, I would have gotten the big bag but I could eat the whole bag in one sitting. I just want one little portion controlled bag of Mini Eggs.

Are you out there small bag of Mini Eggs?

This is a big conspiracy by Hershey and Cadbury, I tell you! M&Ms will do in a pinch but they are a poor substitute.

Sunday, March 21, 2010


I went on a yarn crawl yesterday. It was a crawl to 3 yarn stores on the Red Line. Let's just say, I supported all three of them.
I'd better get knitting. My stash is growing bigger and bigger.
My entrelac scarf is finished. I just have to weave in the ends and block it.

Friday, March 19, 2010


Wow! This week has flown by. One day it was Monday and the next it seemed to be Friday. I live for the weekend so I am not complaining. I have been wicked busy this week and next week will be wicked busy also. I need a vacation! My schedule is another way to judge how far I have come. I have had a hard time making and keeping friends most of my life. For the longest time, I could say I didn't really have friends that I saw regularly. Maybe it was my depression, loner tendancies or shyness, I just had a tough time. Flash forward to now, I have had a social something every night this week. I can honestly say I have made friends, who I spend time with. Between friends made knitting or from other social groups, I don't feel as awkward as before and have no qualms about talking and laughing. This is good to know because it has been a crazy week mood wise. I have been feeling a bit depressed. The sunshine has helped a bit but even my Dad said I sounded down on the phone and could tell from my Facebook status's that I have been down. It was another week of waking up late and with some bad news about a former coworker, it has just been one of those weeks. Hopefully, the sun will continue and some of the green will return and replace the grayness of it it all outside. Tonight's fun is dinner at The Beehive in Boston with my friends. Pictures to come!

Monday, March 15, 2010


As I sit here typing this, I can hear the wind and the raining hitting my windows, along with the dripping into my buckets. Hopefully, the rain will stop tomorrow so the dripping will stop. The affected ceiling area has doubled and where it started is starting to come apart.
I left work early to keep an eye on the leak and I really wanted to take a nap. I did a bit of work then decided to brave this weather and go to the gym. It took me 45 minutes to go 2 miles. I might have walked quicker, had it not been for the storm.
Quincy is one big flooded mess. My old apartment was in the flooded area but on a death hill. That might have helped in this case, except if there was a landslide. Luckily, I moved and so far, my street is OK but there is a little pond around the corner that was dangerously close to overflowing.
I try hard not to get down in weather like this. It is hard not to. The grayness takes a toll.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

2010 is the year of travelling Jen

I am going to Louisville over Memorial Day weekend! I will be visiting a friend who lives there. I have heard so much about the city. I will finally get to know it. 2010 will be the year of the traveling Jen. Maybe Seattle will be next. My father's stepbrother's family lives in Seattle and he wants to visit there. Then of course, there is Blogher '10 in August. I can't wait. This weekend has been miserable in Boston. It rained and the effected the rain had on me is this: With this: I have rallied against the rain so that I won't get too down. It has been pouring all day today. I did some laundry but because I was waiting for the roofing guys to come, I missed pilates. Oh well. There was nothing they could do besides look at the ceiling because it was still raining. I did some knitting today. It was a good day for it. I finished this hat over a week ago but forgot to post the pictures. It is the Recedere Hat by Kathy North from Knitscene Winter/Spring 2010. I made it for Secret Sister and she is modeling it. (Though, with that, is she not secret anymore?) Purple looks much better on her then on me. With the lack of sunshine this weekend, I could not take the photos of shadows I wanted to for my blog. It will be done soon.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

A Needed Change

I joined a new gym on Thursday before trivia. It is an all-women's gym in East Milton Square, where I have been oogling the class list there for a while. It is more expensive then my old gym but it is exactly what I needed. I am excited to workout out at Fitness Unlimited.
I went to the gym last night and really liked it. I didn't feel like it was a chore. Hopefully that feeling will continue. They are not paying me to say this. I will probably go this afternoon too.
Today will also include a visit to Mom. Hopefully, she will be more lucid then normal.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A Bump In the Road

I decided to stop by the gym and then Stop & Shop tonight after work but unfortunately, things did not go as planned. I could not get into the gym because I did not have my membership card. Sigh. I was looking forward to doing something. I then went to Stop & Shop.
While I was checking out, I saw Rich's cousin. I don't believe he knew who I was but it still rocked me a bit. It brought back thoughts of why? It sort of dragged me down. I tried to rally myself and think positively but it was hard. I sort of just want to see him, yell a bit and say my peace. Get the ghost of Rich out of me.
I did not get to the gym but I did get off of the subway a few stops early and walk then after work, walk to a further stop.
I have an idea for updating and changing my blog a bit. Hopefully, my camera will cooperate. It is supposed to rain this week, which makes it prime blog updating time. Stay tuned!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sunny Monday

I have been thinking about my meeting with Swarmy Match Guy on Saturday. I am not going to let one loser tear me down. There is someone out there for me. If I don't find him, I am fairly happy being a crazy cat lady.
Speaking of crazy cats, Boots was close to death this morning. At 4 am, he woke me up by knocking over a container on my night table. Then, I figure, since I was up, I might as well go to the bathroom. I then found that the clothing horse, where some clothes were drying from being washed last night, to find it tipped over. He was chewing on my new shirt. Gah! He is lucky he is cute, furry and purrs a lot because I was not a happy camper. I eventually went back to bed and the offender was purring next to me.
I totally overslept yet again. I used to be the first person in the office. Now, I am lucky if I am not the last person. Even when I was at my lowest of lows, I got up early. The bed traps me now even if I look at the time. Maybe I need a cat who will wake me at 6 instead of 4.
I went to see my Mom yesterday. She didn't remember me at all. I think the days of her knowing my name without my prompting are gone. That partly put me in a rut yesterday, luckily, the walk to the beach helped me clear out my head. I walk out to my car and cry after visiting her. I will never understand why it was her to get this disease so young. Dad discussing dating doesn't help me. I understand that but she is my mother and it hurts.
I am looking forward to the spring ahead this weekend. Walking is my favorite exercise and with the hour of daylight after work will be great. I can get into my walking again. It might help me clear out my head and get out of this end of winter rut.
This time of year is my least favorite. The days are gray (not today!), everything is dead and bland looking, people are grumpy. I love the sunny days and the colors of summer.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Another Dating Hall of Shame Entry

It was a gorgeous weekend here in Boston. To bad it went by so fast. One minute it was Friday night now it is Sunday night. Saturday, I was supposed to meet Swarmy Match Guy at Bar 10 in Boston. I didn't think I had anything nice to wear so I spent Saturday shopping. I bought a cute red and black top at Lord & Taylor. I have to say that they have one of the better plus size sections I have seen. I also stopped at Lane Bryant. I tried on one of the boyfriend shirts, a buttoned down shirt. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I asked myself when they baby was due. It made me look pregnant, which is not the look I was going for. Pink and orange were in full force in the store. Both colors look terrible on me. It disappointed me. After shopping, I got ready with the new shirt, some jeans and some brown knee high boots. I was looking good! I was pretty nervous walking to the bar. I saw Swarmy Match Guy at the end of the bar. He invited me to sit down. I ordered a glass of pinot noir. He already had a glass of wine. He didn't talk very much. I was nervous trying to keep the conversation going. He suggested that we move to a table, which we did. After he said down, he said "Why don't you come closer." I was fine where I was sitting. He then put his arm around my waist and went to kiss me. I was like no. He then backed off. When the waitress came to ask if we wanted another drink, he said, "No." He told me he was meeting a friend at another bar. I was like, great have a good night. I got up and left. I was happy to get out of there. I was not at ease. I was not happy that he grabbed me after meeting me for the first time. He did not want to mess with my redheaded temper. I was happy to be home. I fell asleep by 11. Today, I went on my first long walk since the fall. It felt awesome to have some sun. I walked down to Wollaston Beach. Lots of people must have felt the same way, because it was busy there. Lots of dog walkers, motorcycle gang members, who I wondered if they were like Sons of Anarchy, couples, creepy older men sitting in cars, it was a busy day at Wollaston Beach. This may be a spring teaser, but I like it.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wednesday Wonders

Today was just one of those days. I barely got out of bed on time for work. I hate running around like a chicken without a head in the mornings but I can not wake up for my alarm clock. Boots has been bugging me around 5:00 am but that is too early and I fall back to sleep. I slept through my alarm for an hour before it shut off on its own. I need a better alarm clock or something to shock me out of bed in the morning.
I finally finished the baby sweater I was knitting for Secret Sister's friend. Hopefully, the baby will still fit in it. Hoodies for babies are cute!
I love the daisy buttons. I have always loved daisies and black eyed susans.
I may just have to knit another one for charity.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Trip to Target

While I was searching for sheets, I came across the health department. I found two things that I really like so far.
I've been neglecting myself lately. My skin is dry, my hair is blah, people tell me I look mad/sad/both. I need to pay attention to number 1.
1. Boots Mediterranean Almond Pistachio & Milk Body Butter
My legs get wicked dry in the winter. I have been cutting myself itching and that has got to stop. I love the smell and the feel of this body butter. I am hooked.
2. Say Yes to Carrots Facial Moisturizer
The cold weather here really does a number on my face. The bathroom at work makes it look so red. I hate looking in the mirror there. I hope this helps.
Paying attention to myself really suffers when I don't feel good about myself. I have been feeling ugly lately and that line of thinking has got to stop.
I did get organic cotton sheets and a quilt at Target, along with a few other things. I am always tempted at Target.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Better Day

I feel a little better today then yesterday. I hate to see my parents in pain and it bothers me. Dad found the missing thing and that took a load off of my shoulders. Sunday nights always bring out the worst - the dread of the week to come and the fact that weekends go by so fast.
I brought my knitting with me on the T today. It really helped me settle after a long day at work.
I do have a couple finished objects to show but one of them will look good on the future owner and not me, so I will take some photos when she comes to get it. Purple is not my color.