Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My Grandmother

My grandmother died Sunday night. She was a woman ahead of her time. She went to law school, before law school required a 4 year degree to enter. She graduated from Regis College. She was divorced from my grandfather but married Tony after the divorce. Tony treated us like his own grandchildren. She helped out my family more times than I can say. I wish I had spent more time with her before her death. Between my mother and her, I could not take it. I am at the point of tears when I go visit Mom in the nursing home and I could not consider visiting her after. Grandma, I am thankful for all of the help you gave us. You are in a better place now and we will always keep you in our hearts.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Getting Over It

Whatever IT is. I haven't been able to shake the depression this week for some reason. The weather is warmer and I should be jumping up and down over it. I am feeling very blah lately. Maybe it is Mom acting weird, saying Dad is living with another woman but the woman left him. Maybe I am feeling trapped, still not having a car, and stuck. I am lucky I don't have a lot of bad food at home because I would surely turn to food, my non-friend friend. Food tends to be there when nobody else is. Boots is there too and I just devolve into cat gibberish instead sometimes.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The cold

I know I complain a lot about the weather. It has been so cold lately that it is hard to ignore. I have a problem with sleeping in lately. I do not want to get out from under the flannel sheets. At one time, I was the early bird. I was that one that was up early and the first in the office. What happened to me? Lately, I have had such a problem. Once I get up I am fine but it is a struggle getting up. It was never this hard when I was thoroughly depressed. So I have my bra appointment tonight which I am happy about. Hopefully, I will find one nice bra. I have not talked about Valentine's Day with R. I am not sure how to approach the whole conversation. He has helped me so much with my car search and has been such a honey lately that I don't want to spoil it. The insecurity in me is coming out. I am a bit worried about my Dad. He has been really sick and with all of his health problems, I am worried. Between Mom, who was depressed the last time I visited her, and Dad, I have my hands full, never mind my siblings. I just want to go home and knit. Maybe it is the cold. I am knitting a cool laced shawl. It is nice. I just want it to wrap around me.