Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Facebook Relationship Status

So my father, like many many other Baby Boomers, has discovered Facebook. His relationship status went from Married to It's complicated. I'll admit the situation is a bit complicated. He was taking care of Mom. Mom goes into nursing home. What is the next step in life? At 61, he should not be thinking of is. I just did not want to read it. I made a comment of GAH! Dad is afraid of making me mad on Facebook so I got a phone call later that day. The conversation began like: "I only want to be able to talk to people. People won't talk to me if it says married." I wasn't sure what to say. I understand that having a wife with dementia is not easy and I don't think that he would ever do anything. I know he is lonely and trying to get out a bit more since he does not have to be with Mom all day. He still goes to visit her everyday. I just was not ready for it. It was not something I wanted to see on Facebook.

Monday, September 28, 2009

My favorite things:

A blogger, who I read often, Amber Filkins, does a Friend Making Monday discussion. Today's discussion is what you can not live without. So, while I get the hang of things, I am going to list my favorite things: 1. My family Yes, they are crazy. Yes, they are problem ridden and cause me stress, but they are my only family. So, Dad and Melinda, Mom and Jimmy, you are the primary thing I can not live without. 2. Coffee This goes without saying. 3. Boots This cat helped me battle depression. His purring gave me a reason to come home. It helped that he was always waiting. 4. Sleep Really, it energizes me. It was one worry free place (except for the occasional bad nightmare). 5. Knitting I get into the groove knitting. I forget what I worry about. It calms me. It soothes me. I am almost done with one sleeve on the February Ladies Sweater. I'll post a picture tomorrow.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I made Operation Beautiful!

The notes I posted at Barnes & Nobles and the library made Operation Beautiful today! This makes me happy! I hope I made someone smile that day.

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Non-Whale Watch

There was supposed to be a whale watch today at work. We drove down to Plymouth to meet everyone but because the seas were very choppy, Captain John's decided that 5-6 foot waves would not be a good thing. I agree with them. So, we circled Plymouth harbor about 30 times for 3 hours. It was tiring. The wind, which was brutal, combined with the cold, was tiring. I should have turned right around and gone to work. Now, my face is burned. The batteries for my camera died after 1 picture again. If we had seen some whales, it would have been worth it but all we saw was Plymouth harbor 30 times over and over again.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Happy Birthday Mom!

Mom turned 61 today. We took her out to the Abington Ale House for dinner. Before dinner, she returned to my parent's apartment for the first time since she went into the nursing home. Dad was worried about how she would react to being in the apartment but it went fine. There was a bit of squabbling between my Dad and Melinda during dinner but it went well over all. Mom didn't do much talking. She concentrates on eating and that is all. Plus, with her aphasia, it is difficult to get her to talk sometimes. I bought her a new pair of pants for her birthday. When I saw her lay down on the bed to button her jeans and the indentations in her stomach from it, I said, I must get her more pants. She has been having a lot of accidents and the laundry department can't keep up with it. She tried on her pants and the fit. There were no "they are loose" complaints from her tonight. They looked comfortable. Front Temporal Dementia is a horrible disease. It robs people so young. It robbed me and my family of time with the old Mom. Her personality changed and she went from a person with life to one without it. It changed her face, her personality, the paranoia all progressed after time. 61 is far too young.

Monday, September 21, 2009

I have a case of the Mondays.

Mondays suck. Whatever will go wrong at work always seems to have on a Monday or after 3 pm on a Friday. Today was just wracked with computer problems. I was overwhelmed and tired, almost to the point of tears. On days like today, the shadow comes out. Not as bad as in the past but there is a little nagging voice in my head that I try to ignore. When I get stressed, I notice it the most. Hopefully, the next 4 days won't be quite as busy. When I got home, Boots was looking at me with great anticipation. Of what? I don't know. The scarf in the charity knit along I started and sent along has returned to me. It is a big scarf. Might even be a shawl of some kind. I went to WW on Saturday and gained a pound. It did not affect me as it used to. I used to cry at the thought of a gain. My mood would be affected for days. Now, not so much. I shrugged it off. Yes, the number on the scale should go down but it will not control me. Better luck this Saturday.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A Good Side Note!

So, after I post my blog, I always view my blog. I have not had a lot of luck with Blogger's formatting so I don't take anything for granted. I looked at the feed in Google Reader (I am a hopeless addict) and I saw that is a little messed up. I will have to fix that. Not sure how but I will. I clicked on the new picture of me and it brought a large copy of the picture on a separate page. I looked and my eyes and said, "Wow! I do have great eyes!" This is important for several reasons:
  • I am complimenting myself.
  • I did not think awful things when I looked.
  • It is truly a significant step in my total change of thinking over the last year.
It makes me happy. A 35 year old can change her thinking.

New Color, New Outlook

It has been a busy couple of days for me. First, I changed my hair color a bit. It certainly makes the green in my kaleidoscope eyes pop! People have to do a double take to make sure it is me. My face sure is freckly. Hopefully, my dermatologist won't yell at me when I see her on Tuesday. I have seen some sun this summer. There are some suspicious bumps on my upper chest that I have to mention to her. Back to the color, I like it. Very close to the color I had growing up. I had birthday parties this week. Then, there was trying to find pants to give to my Mom for her birthday, Tuesday. Since the weather has turned, I have rediscovered why I buy Celestial Seasonings Christmas teas when I see them. I have one every night in the fall or winter. With a little bit of honey, it is great. Another great addicting find of mine is: I could eat one every day. My mood has been ok. I did not see R this week, which disappointed me. He worked 4 doubles this week.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Smile! You are Beautiful!

So today, I worked from home, though not really from home since my work laptop won't connect to my work's VPN network. So, I did some work at Panera Bread, then the Thomas Crane Library in Quincy then Barnes & Noble. I put my first Operation Beautiful Smile! signs up in two places. I was so excited. Here is one in the 3rd floor ladies room at the Thomas Crane Library. The lighting was terrible in the bathroom. In the Beauty section at the Barnes & Noble in Braintree. I was trying not to be obvious taking the picture. I have my Post-Its in my purse. Look out Boston, who knows where I shall post again! Since I also got paid today, tonight was my food shopping night. I only have one can of pumpkin left and since I am back on my oatmeal kick, I thought I should get more. I love pumpkin in oatmeal. Well, I looked on the bottom shelf, where the pumpkin should be and there was a "We are working on getting it" sign. All of the pumpkin was sold out. I also did Level 1 of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred on Exercise TV. I am so out of shape!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Mazzola's

Mom is Italian. She was the only person I knew, who on St. Patrick's Day, refused to be Irish for the day. Since Mom is considered the ugly step-child (refuse to downgrade us redheads) of her family, I decided to see if there were other family members outside of her immediate asshole filled family. I posted a while ago on a message board for the area of Italy, Frosinone, where her family immigrated from over 60 years ago. A cousin of Mom's answered my post. It made my day! To know that I have other relatives out there, makes me happy. Dad is an only child and outside of his dead step-brother's children, he does not have any outside relatives. We are not alone in a see of other families with lots of relatives. I will keep the blog up to date. I went for a walk to Wollaston Beach tonight. It was high tide for once. Unfortunately, I was only able to take one picture as the batteries wore out. Carried the camera for an hour and half walk to get one picture! Next time. The view from the sidewalk along the beach, which is a couple of miles long.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Fall is here

The weather in Boston has been chilly this week. A taste of fall is in the air. As a matter of fact, currently, I am drinking a Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale - Fall Seasonal. I wore my coat today and jeans with a sweatshirt have been my staple this week.
We had such a crappy summer here in Boston. It is far too early for fall. I am not ready to give up summer.
Tomorrow, I will be off to WW. Last night, I had pepperoni pizza and a buffalo chicken tender for dinner. Let's hope that my WI is not bad. Then, I have a second date with Mrs. Meyers and Method.
Actually, my weekend will probably be quiet. I took out meat to make meatloaf tomorrow night. That excites me!
Since when does meatloaf excite me? Meatloaf is now the center of my weekend.
I also just noticed that it is has been over a year since I started the blog. Wow! Time flies! My attitude has changed. Totally! More on this tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


are always like chugging up a hill and looking down from the top.

Today was an ok eating day. For dinner, I had the left over soup from last night. I had a reduced fat berry coffee cake at Starbucks during knitting.  Pumpkin Oatmeal this morning and tuna with a whole wheat pita rounded out the day along with yogurt and grapes.

I have a head ache tonight. Maybe it is because my nose seems stuffed up again. It just won't go away.  I had a sweater on today but there was still a nip in the air. I am not ready for fall!

This new Blogger posting format is annoying. It does not pick up my paragraph spaces and I have to go and edit the post after.  It is annoying!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Labor Day Weekend

My computer continues to act up.  By taking forever to show what I have typed, it is driving me a little batty. Unfortunately, the budget now is not allowing me to make computer changes.  I may have to bring it to the hospital though.

My weened was good. It started out with the flurry of cleaning on Saturday. Me, Mrs. Meyers and Method got down and dirty. I also got a lot of knitting done on the February Knitting Sweater.  I will post pictures tomorrow.

My computer seems to be typing normal now.  Maybe it is possessed.

Sunday consisted of breakfast with Melinda and knitting. Sunday night, I hung out with R, which turned into Monday and part of Tuesday.  I asked the "Do you see a future with me?" question on Sunday and he answered yes.  It is a good first step. I had to have some liquid courage to ask but I was happy with the answer.

Since I have not seen R a lot over the last two months, it felt good to spend a lot of time with him.

Today, I made my first batch of Leek Potato Soup.  The recipe is easy.  Cut up leeks, saute them in some oil to sweat them, add potatoes and broth. Cook until potatoes are tender. I also add some chicken thighs to the soup.  It was a good dinner.

My eating, while I was with R, was sporadic at best.  On Monday, I did not eat, besides two small cookies, until dinner. It was not healthy to eat like that.  When I had dinner, I was starved. If R did not want to sleep until 3 pm, it might have been different.  I was lazy with him.

Back to work tomorrow. Weekends are far too short.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Busy Saturday

So I went and weighed in the morning and I lost 7.2 pounds (granted it had been two weeks since I last weighed in) but I was pumped! That is a lot of weight. I think I finally have the mojo I need to go the whole distance and not fall behind like the other times.

Boots was probably scarred for a while due to my cleaning today. When I vacuumed the rugs, he ran under the bed and did not emerge for hours. I also had my clean on with Mrs. Meyers Clean Day and Method products. I swept, vacuumed, scrubbed and finally have a half way clean bottom half of the apartment (except the bedroom, that will be done next weekend). The apartment smells of Lemon and Verbena and Method Hardwood Floor Cleaner. I was sweating up a storm so it was also a workout.

This morning I had pumpkin oatmeal, which was great, with a big cup of coffee.  Lunch was half of the small Garlic and Peppercorn pork loin that I had last night with broccoli along with a Nonni's Toscani cookie for dessert.  Dinner will probably be a chicken thigh backed with baked fries and salad.

I finally finished a knitting project. I made a little coin purse for  myself.  The purse looked better on the wrong side so I put the wrong side out. I used some left over fabric for the inside.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Weigh In Tomorrow Morning

I went for a walk down to Wollaston Beach tonight.  It smelled very beachy today but it felt good to get out. I walked down to The Clam Box then made my way back home.

There were plenty of these on the beach tonight as it was low tide:

Wollaston Beach 

I will be waking up at the bright and early hour tomorrow morning to go to Weight Watchers. I am not afraid of the scale. I have been pretty good this week. One step to a healthier life...

I hope to fiddle around with the blog design a bit. I am trying to figure things out.

I just talked to R so hopefully I will see him on Sunday or Monday!

Have a Safe and Happy Labor Day!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Taking out the trash

I have spent a lot of time examining myself and getting to know myself. I have done fairly well with battling the shadow though there are days when it takes over. I am generally feeling good about myself. Which, really, has been a long battle with in itself. Why do I have such a hard time wrapping myself around this weight problem? I have been overweight my entire life. I don't know what it will be like when I lose the weight. Part of me is scared. I know the reasons why I thought fat = safety. In a way, it did. I hated being the center of attention and no one would notice or see me if I weighed 300 lbs. Very few people did. Some traumatic events (to me) happened as a child that changed my perception of attention. Working on my self esteem has taught me that I should not be ashamed of myself. That all attention is not bad-intentioned. That I should be noticed for who I am. I am worth it. That is right. I am going to say it again. I AM WORTH IT. I had hot oat bran cereal this morning with the raisins/cranberries and brown sugar. I love oat bran cereal. I know it is a texture thing, like eating ziti without lines, as opposed to with lines. Oat bran is like Cream of Wheat, only with fiber. For lunch I had 2 slices of whole wheat bread with a slice of 2% cheese, BBQ chicken deli meat and a slice ham with a bit of mayonnaise. For snack, I had two bite size candy bars and some grapes. Dinner was my typical saute with peppers, onions, beef, black beans and some cheese. I had a Starbucks non-fat vanilla latte at knitting tonight. I got a half hour walk in today. Not as much as yesterday but it was something. Only two more days until the long weekend. I can't wait. Does anyone in the Quincy/Boston area have any gym recommendations? I need a new health club. QAC just does not do it anymore.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tuesday Ramblings

So, I did okay today. I brought oatmeal in a thermos with raisins/cranberries and a little brown sugar for breakfast. One check for a veggie/fruit. I got off of the subway early and walked to work, some time off of the 30 minutes a day, check. For lunch, I brought the garbanzo bean/veggie curry thing I made for dinner Sunday night again. It was good and it contained a lot of veggies. Double check. I had some Hannaford Light Banana Cream yogurt for dessert. I did have a ice cream sandwich and a Luna Cookie this afternoon. For dinner, I had a pork chop with peach salsa and Laughing Cow Cheese with broccoli spears. I walked for 40 minutes on my lunch break. I accomplished both goals for the day. I think I am now going to brew cup of tea with honey and have a Noni's Biscotti with it. Fall is in the air here. I think I am going to make Potato & Leek Rustic Soup this weekend. I am feeling it.