Tuesday, July 7, 2009

So, I had my yearly physical the other day. Of course she took my height (I have not shrunk!) and my weight. My weight has done the opposite of shrinking and I was dismayed. More than dismayed, downright disgusted at myself. How could I let myself get fat again?
I have been thinking about it at lot over the last 24 hours. I am insecure about my relationship with R. I don't think I deserve it. One way to make sure I sabotage my relationship is to gain weight. No one will want me if I am fat.
The insecure me has ruled lately. I find myself thinking that I am not good enough, etc. I am good enough. I know that deep down. I thought I had fended off that shadow but in moments of doubt there it is, lurking behind the door. Tomorrow, I am going rejoin WW with my friend, G, after work. I know the road will be tough but for once, I will concur my weight problem once and for all. I hope to use this blog as a daily recap of sorts. Be prepared!
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