Thursday, July 16, 2009
One more day!
I can not wait for the weekend. I live for it. On Monday, I start to think about Saturday. Tomorrow at 5:00, I will be one happy gal. Not that I am doing anything, except maybe stopping at Target on the way home. At kickball tonight, I was hit in the head twice. Both times, by a ball that was kicked sky high and came zooming down at my head. I felt totally inadequate. The two times I get the ball, I can not catch it. Part of me wanted totally call it quits after my two misses. I didn't want to go for drinks. I just wanted to go home to the safety of the apartment. I finished the game and went out for one drink but really, I just wanted to go home. I have always been a home body. The loner or to some, loser, probably. I like to think I am happiest alone but then I get lonely. The feeling of inadequacy had me feeling like that. I am not good enough. I will never be good enough for anything. This line of thinking is not good. Why can't I stop it? I had an appointment with an allergist today. I am allergic to nothing. Even though I break out in hives, swollen itchy hands after touching things, have constant post nasal drip during allergy season, etc, after they poked me and gave me shots of dust, etc. They could find nothing. I am beginning to think I am a hypochondriac. My period is all messed up. I get hives a lot. I have headaches. My ears buzz. I am depressed. They can find nothing wrong with me, besides the depression. Tonight for dinner, I had Go Lean, blueberries and 1% milk. The same thing I had for breakfast. It is what I felt like when I got home from kickball. It was 9 pm and I am not cooking. I stayed within the plan and points tonight.