Monday, April 20, 2009

Happy Patriot's Day

Unfortunately, unlike a good portion of the state, I don't get the day off. I could have used to day as a day off. I read an article on about an 11 year old boy who committed suicide after being bullied relentlessly. It brought up a lot of issues from my childhood. When I look back at old photographs, I see that the taunts of being fat, tall and ugly were just plain untrue. I developed very young and I totally regret never telling my parents about the sexual harassment I went through in grade school. I had to fight the boys off from grabbing at me in class. It caused many of the issues I have today. I was such a kid then, much more kid-like then the kids today. I responding my going in my room after getting home from school for years. My room was my sanctuary. I gained the weight as a protection shield. No one would touch me if I am 300 lbs. I don't have kids so I don't know how it is today in school but at least most schools seems to be more aware of it. They are definitely more aware of sexual harassment in today's classroom, except maybe in the Springfield public schools which were discussed in the article. So today, I stepped on the scale first thing this morning, logged my weight and rejoined WW online. I don't get much out of meetings but do like the program in general. So, I brought my lunch today and am drinking water. I momentarily beat myself up over the weight I have gained. Then I thought about it and said I am not..... That I should not let that inner voice have a say. Today, I am happy about old photos. While bad memories were brought back, good memories were also there. It was a time when my family was "normal" and not the dysfunctional mess it became.

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