Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The Shadow

Lately, I have been feeling on and off. Perhaps it is the upcoming holiday and the fact that it will be another Christmas scaled back. Dad hasn't been feeling well and I am worried about him. Mom has been paranoid. I am depressed and getting sick. I looked at myself in the mirror today and I look a mess. I haven't had a chance to pick up contact lenses so I have my glasses on and my clothes are so blah and my hair never seems to do what I want. It is a reflection of the fact I can not get up for work on time anymore. I am beginning to wonder if I am anemic due to my period problems, which reminds me I must find a new primary care doctor. I know the onset of the cold weather has something to do with my mood and the fact that I have been broke. I need to work on financial stuff this weekend for sure. My lack of self confidence is back after a short hiatus. I just don't feel pretty. I feel so blah about myself. I hate to admit at 35 I have very little makeup knowledge and dressing is hopeless. I started to knit the Irish Hiking Scarf and it is coming along well. It is an easy repetitive cabling pattern, not like the complicated purse I knitted. I could definitely do this and talk at the same time.

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