Monday, November 17, 2008

Things that hurt

Well, this weekend was a very bad weekend for Mom. I have been thinking about it non-stop since yesterday and it just makes me sadder the more I think about it. I went to visit my parents on Sunday and Mom was a rare mood. She was very upset. She said that my brother and I are not her relatives. Now, I can deal with most everything that comes out of her mouth but this cut to the core. I have always thought that Mom would choose her sister and brother, who have treated her horribly, over myself and my siblings. It is something I always felt was true. This brought up those feelings again. It feels like she never cared, which is not true but she was cold, very cold. I know that the disease is eating her brain. I know she lashes out when she is frustrated with herself. I hate that she says this. I am her daughter. Their financial situation is such that they are barely surviving but yet Mom doesn't want any of her money to go to the household expenses. I just have a hard time dealing with it. I want a mother that I can be close to. I want a mother that I can tell things too. I have never had a mother like that.

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