Monday, October 20, 2008
The mind is a strange thing. Lately, I have not been thinking too much of the past. Yet, I am not thinking of the future. I don't want to jinx the future in a way. If I think of a future with Rich, then I will jinx myself. I am beginning to think I do not allow myself to be happy and because of that I will never find happiness. I have always been the glass is almost empty type of gal. It was a defense mechanism and since I have been often hurt, I would try to prepare myself for the hurt that was sure to come. I am trying to be optimistic about things even with the pessimistic news in the media. It is hard. I want to be happy about my new relationship and happy about the possibilities of my life. Getting my mind to change is a battle though.